Home is where
by SummertimeERA
Summary: In his third year, Harry has some strange dreams, that lead to him starting to distrust our esteemed Headmaster. When he finds a confidant in Remus, everything somehow takes a turn for the worse... Warnings: Major Character Death, Bad!Dumbles, Child!Abuse, Violence, Maybe Slash, but unless requested not main pairing. Nothing too graphic planned. Rated M because I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, everyone! This is my first fanfic, so please be nice. Updates won't be regular I'm afraid.  
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**Warnings: Dumbles!Bashing, Child Abuse, Violence, Major Character Death, Perhaps Slash in later Chapters, but, unless explicitly requested, not main pairing, and not graphic**

**There will be an Alpha/Beta/Omega ranking for the wolf packs at least. Rank by birth.**

**If any of the above upsets you, or if you could easily be triggered by anything, please don't read.**

**Disclaimer: The World and Characters of the 'Harry Potter' Universe belong to the amazing J. and the publishers and film industries she sold it to. I own nothing and make no profit of this.**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 1

Sing me to sleep

_„__AHHHRrghh…" Quirrel screamed as his burnt flesh disintegrated from the child's touch. As the ashes crumbled to the ground a dark shape rose threateningly from the corpse, only to flee the scene rather anticlimactically._

_Harry stared after it in confusion, before he tried to get some air into his lung. But breathing seemed at once both shockingly easy and entirely ineffective, as the oxygen was just never enough. His lungs started to burn._

_An imposing figure stepped out from behind a pillar. 'Dumbledore!' Harry thought in relief, as he just didn't have enough breath left to articulate the words. The relief was short lived however. Harry's blood turned to lead in his veins at the cold blue eyes stabbing into his own with a calculating glint._

_The child's breathing became heavier as the Headmaster approached and black spots started appearing in his vision. He felt a freezing cold settle over him when the usually cheerful man leaned over him in a way that felt quite threatening to the traumatized boy._

_"__Well, that was disappointing."_

_Harry was sure this voice shouldn't sound so accusing and demeaning. It reminded him of his relatives. He didn't really understand what was going on, but he knew enough to be afraid. Especially when the figure leaned down and fairly ripped the much coveted stone out of his hand, leaving deep cuts behind._

_"__I had better hide this before Nickolas notices it's gone." A sharp smile. "As for you…" the Headmaster said in the moment the dark spots had taken over all of Harry's vision._

_"__Obliviate!" was the last thing the weak boy heard echoing through the Dark._

With a gasp Harry bolted up in bed, his eyes wide and his hair plastered to his face with sweat. After a few seconds of normalizing his breathing the small thirteen year old lay back onto his bed. It was quite early, his dorm mates wouldn't wake for another three hours probably.

Gazing up at the draped over his bed, he contemplated his latest dream.

'That is about the tenth time I've had that one.'

After the Chamber of Secrets last year, there had been a great number of disturbing dreams, about the showdown with the Philosopher's Stone, the happenings in the Chamber and even a few times starring his younger years about accidental Magic. Each and every one with the Headmaster in them and depicting the instances in a slightly different way than Harry remembered.

Harry would have thought them the weird nightmares of an overstressed teenage mind, if it hadn't been for the spell: Obliviate!

He hadn't ever heard of that spell before he'd heard it first in his dreams, and after looking it up in the library, both his fantasies about him fabricating it in his mind or hearing it incidentally somewhere in the Magic world crumbled to dust. It existed and it was highly illegal to use on a fellow Witch or Wizard without approval from the Ministry.

So Harry had come to the realization that those were his true memories and Dumbledore had been screwing him over. Over what exactly would remain to be seen…

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**Thank you for checking this out! I appreciate honest reviews! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there! Yes I'm still alive ;)**

**See End Notes for more Info. All the warnings from the first Chapter still apply and the Universe and Character still belong to J. ;)**

**I apologize for all mistakes.**

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**Chapter 2: Give me what I need**

Harry was still rather knackered the next morning. He always was lately. It was March now, by which time he had usually long recovered from the Dursleys abuse over the summer, but with those dreams and the Dementors so close by he continued to feel weak.

A good part of that was probably his emaciated body, but he just couldn't force himself to eat enough. That cold blue gaze was making him feel a little worse than slightly nauseas whenever he entered the Great Hall.

There was however an upside to this day. He got to meet Professor Lupin again, his deceased father's scruffy friend. Just thinking about it brought a light swing to Harry's step.

He felt so at home with Remus, almost loved. He had wondered why the werewolf hadn't taken him in after his parent's death, until he learned about the discrimination against the race.

Remus simply wasn't ALLOWED to take him in, or even ask for visitation. So instead of resenting the mellow Professor for his absence, he now treated these lessons as the precious opportunity they were.

He had never communicated any of these thoughts to Remus. He wanted the man to tell him about his affliction himself and not because he confronted him on the knowledge he had gained thanks to Snape's essay. They weren't really all that familiar with each other in their interactions. He had never been given leave to call him anything other than Professor Lupin, yet he couldn't stop himself in the privacy of his mind.

Though Remus let Harry know the odd tidbit about his parents, especially his father, he felt mildly hurt by the distance the man maintained, hot chocolate notwithstanding. The young boy thought of Remus Lupin as the closest thing he had to a parent and he longed to cuddle up to him, particularly at times like this. To tell the soft mannered man about the nightmares and his conclusions and be held to his chest, his face buried in the Professors neck, while the man soothed his tears with gentle words, his cheek resting on the boys head, fingers carding through messy locks and gently stroking his back…

Merlin, he wanted it so bad, he ached for it with every fiber of his being. But the man had yet to allow any familiarity between them. Anything that wasn't a casual touch. But by Merlin, God, whoever was listening, he wanted a parent like that! He wanted Remus. But first, he had to get through this day.

Harry softly tapped the door to Lupin's office three times. The day had been rather grueling. In Potions he had sustained a few vicious burns and had lost 20 Points when Malfoy had thrown a shrivelfig into his cauldron from across the room. He hated the pompous git to the next realm and back, but you had to give him some respect for that impeccable aim of his. Merlin only knew why he was the Seeker on his team, he'd make a much better Chaser or even Beater by build alone, but with that aim taken into consideration…

Exhaustion forgotten, Harry's body started buzzing with anticipation when he heard the rustle of papers and shortly after a light shuffle, indicating Remus was making his way to the door. A second later it opened.

The Professor looked about as fit as Harry felt with the dark shadows under his eyes, but he smiled softly and his eyes held a genuine sparkle of welcome and appreciation. Like he was happy to see him and his whole day had just taken a turn for the better, simply because Harry existed, as well.

'No wishful thinking! Or you'll start doing things you'll regret. Like cuddling into his scrubby robes…Bet they're really soft, though.'

"Good evening, Harry!" the gentle voice intoned. Like honey. No! Like lazy evenings cuddling before a fireplace with hot chocolate and a mother telling you old stories about her childhood. Only there was nothing lazy or cuddly about their evenings and Remus wasn't his mother…or father for that matter. No matter how much he sounded like he was. No matter how much Harry wanted him to be…

"Good evening Professor Lupin."

"Well, come on in then, I've got some hot chocolate ready for in between casting." Harry couldn't stop the corners of his mouth twitching into a slight grin at that. "Just warms you up a might faster than a plain piece of chocolate, much as I appreciate that."

And still the Professor was looking directly at Harry, with that gentle smile and amazing sparkle in his eyes. Making the child feel important and appreciated, by being the adult's sole focus and having his full attention in a way, which actually made him feel deserving of it.

Because the look Remus gave him was so different. Like he had truly seen him and couldn't find him lacking in any way. Like he was truly worthy of the older man's attention. So unlike anybody else.

"Of course, thank you sir."

Harry lightly stepped by Remus into the office. The gryndilow in the tank swam to the glass and pressed his visage against it. He didn't know if it was because of the warm presence of his back, or because the creature was so reminiscent of a child pressing his nose to the window display of a toy store, but he just couldn't bring himself to feel afraid, or even wary.

"How was your day then Harry?"

The slight familiarity always made the smaller male's heart soar, but Remus wasn't the only Professor calling him by his first name.

The reminder of the icy steel eyes, that were a merry twinkling blue in any instance but his dreams made Harry's heart stutter.

"Harry?" Something must have shown on his face, judging by the tentative worry clear in both Remus voice and face.

"I'm sorry Professor, it's nothing. My day was alright, though a little taxing at time, especially Potions."

"Ah, yes. Severus doesn't make it easy on people I'm afraid. But in moments of trouble he would always be the first one I would seek for help. Remember this Harry. The only thing you can't trust Professor Snape with is sparing someone when he senses a weakness. But other than hurt feelings you have nothing to fear from him. Don't hesitate to ask him for help if you are ever in danger. The few snide comments are well worth his expertise."

Harry wondered at that impeccable trust granted to his most hated Professor, baring Dumbledore at the moment.

"Have you known him for long then? Snape, that is?"

"Professor Snape, Harry. And yes. We all went to school together. Professor Snape, your mum and dad, Peter, Sirius and me."

His parents and Snape! Wha…Wait! Was that…

"Sirius? As in Sirius Black?!" Harry knew he was hysteric, but he couldn't even stop his hands from shaking, much less keep his emotions out of his voice. His lungs started working faster, trying to push the oxygen into his bloodstream, which was clearly needed in this dire situation of stress. He wasn't really that afraid of Sirius man was an abstract to him and he had after all faced Voldemort! Both the Teenage and Qirrelmort editions plus a freaking BASILISK! So the thought of an escaped mass murderer hunting him down didn't faze him as much as it probably should. What DID make him feel like something had just punched right through his stomach, knocking all the air out with it, was the thought that HE HAD BEEN RIGHT THERE!

With them. Their whole life at Hogwarts and later. Their indirect murderer had been hovering at his parents side. Waiting for the first sign of weakness to strike. HE WAS WITH THEM THE WHOLE TIME! Harry tried choking some air down his lungs. But it wouldn't fit any more and at the same time there wasn't any air at ALL and it HURT!

Remus eyes widened and he paled a bit. His reaction saying he obviously hadn't meant to divulge this information, which was already answer enough. When Harry opened his mouth to say something, what exactly he wasn't sure, the Professor stopped him.

"Wait Harry! Calm down! Please!" He laid his hand on Harry's shoulder and guided the panting child to an armchair, then knelt in front of him.

"Take deep, slow breaths Harry! Oh shit!" Just when the feeling of too little air had started to remind Harry of the incident after finding the Philosophers Stone, his usually mellow Professor cursing in front of him shocked him back to the present.

He gave a sputtering surprised chuckle and his moment of panic was broken.

Remus shoulders sagged in relief. His fingers twitched a bit and he had a thoughtful look on his face. That changed to determined pretty quickly and then he moved.

Harry would later think that almost any revelation and quite a few instances of torture would have been worth it if the evening had continued as it then did. The child secretly celebrating his, for once, incredible luck. Because just then Remus leant forward, lightly grabbed his shoulders and gently tugged him off the armchair and onto his lap, before enfolding him in what would henceforth be known to Harry as The World's Best Hug!

Harry's eyes burned, tears soon streaming down a face he hid in his protectors neck, clinging on for all he was worth. He didn't have enough energy to worry about Remus resenting him for his clinginess, instead cuddling close for all he was worth. And Remus hugged him back in those strong arms of his. He was nuzzling his face in the child's unruly mop of hair and gave a pleased rumble from deep within his chest.

The young raven felt like something was ripping, he hurt deep inside, but strangely it still made him feel better and he went lax in the embrace and soon found himself asleep, feeling completely safe for the first time in ages.

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**AN: So I finally got around to typing this up. Took a bit, I know. But between the mandatory pc crashes every fanfiction author misteriously Encounters (Seriously? Why does this Keep Happening?) and self doubt I'm honestly surprised I'm updating at all...**

**What pushed me to do it in the end was the latest Follow I got on this Fic. Getting another Follow for a like 500 word chapter I published over a year ago gave me the Courage I needed. So thanks to anyone who took some time to fav follow and Review! It means very much to me!**

**So I know this chapter isn't the best. But constantly trying to make it better when I don't really know HOW wasn't going to get me anywhere. Which is why I decided to upload and learn from any Reviews you are generous enough to bestow on me. Seriously. Review! Please! And if it is just "there is a typo" or "liked it". Any Review that helps me improve my writing style will be celebrated :)**

**Thank you so much for reading this! XOXO**

**SummertimeERA**


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